Niederscherli

Living abroad means hearing local music on the radio often, and after so many years of integration with the Swiss and having the radio on in shared office spaces, I am well used to local bands.

Although I don’t often listen to local radio—primarily since installing the Global Player app on my phone to listen to Radio X in the car—I do pick up newer Swiss music through recommendations which pop up in Spotify from time to time. One of them is this catchy tune by Tschuggr, a band from Bern which changed their path from rap to rock when they released their album “Trotzdäm” in 2020.

Although the song appears, at first casual listen, to extol the virtues of a small village near the city of Bern, a closer inspection of the lyrics tells of how some villagers in Switzerland see the world. Those who are obsessive about rules and regulations, and angry about people from other places or about those who want to live a different way of life than has been common for so many years.

I’m glad to say that this aspect of live in small-town Switzerland has greatly improved since I arrived twenty-four years ago, but the lyrics, translated to English here, still ring a very familiar bell.

You don’t do that
because it’s just not done.
You don’t do that
because it might bother someone.
You don’t do that
because it’s disgusting.
You don’t do that
because people might lose it.
You don’t do that
because someone might stare.
You don’t do that:
that’s just not normal.

There’s nowhere as nice as Niederscherli.
Here everything runs like clockwork.
Everything runs like clockwork.
Everything has its place
and everything works.
Yes, everything works.

You don’t say that,
it’s inappropriate.
You don’t say that,
it’s unacceptable.
You don’t say that,
what’s wrong with you?
You don’t say that,
because you’re not allowed to.
You don’t say that,
it’s brought bad luck before.
You don’t say that,
it’s blasphemy.

There’s nowhere as nice as Niederscherli.
Everything here is regulated,
everything is regulated.
Nobody steps out of line
and everyone does their part.
Everyone does what they’re supposed to.

You don’t want that,
because it’s unfamiliar.
You don’t want that,
because you might miss something.
You don’t want that,
anyone could just show up.
You don’t want that,
because it already belongs to someone.
You don’t want that,
because someone might be offended.
You don’t want that,
because it just doesn’t fit in here

There’s nowhere as nice as Niederscherli,
and that will never change.
For all eternity.
Yes, here we only have model citizens,
and they’ve earned it.
Yes, they’ve earned it.
People here are proud of their home,
and they’re all so lovely,
all so lovely.

If the whole world were like Niederscherli,
there’d be no more war.